Sunday, 19 February 2017

What are ways to help improve self-esteem?

OP: I'm someone who has very low self-esteem.  Whenever something happens, I'll always feel like I did something wrong.  If someone doesn't take my calls, I'll feel like I must have done something bad.  If I've made a mistake, I'll feel like trash and pick at my own faults.  So I get nervous if I've drank a lot and not know exactly what I've done.

I went to a therapist and the doctor told me this, "Don't focus on what you might've done wrong after drinking, what you should think of is the reason you drank that much.  You should think of thoughts like, 'Ah, that day I wasn't feeling great so I drank a lot.'  By focusing on your own emotions, you won't blame yourself as much."

After I heard those words, I realized how much I've been focusing on other people and events around them instead of my own feelings.

It isn't easy to become confident in yourself, but I'm gradually working towards that goal!!

Daum Cafe: 'Let's share a way of thinking that helps improve self-esteem.'

- I read this post everyday:
"There are two ways to live life comfortably.  One is to not be afraid to say no.  You have to be able to say no to requests or favours if you don't want to do them.  Another is to not get hurt when someone has rejected you.  Your worth doesn't drop just because another person doesn't like you... especially the words, 'You're not pretty', 'You don't have any charms', you have to get over these things by thinking, 'OK, well that's your opinion." A lot of women struggle with this... I myself had a hard time with this, but if you think about it, it's not important for every single person to like you."

- Whenever I start to worry or think about if I've made a mistake.. I scream, "FUCK IT SO WHAT" in my head to stop those thoughts.  It's like thinking 'I've already done it, so what can I do?' but with more impact, "FUCK IT, SO WHAT".  It lifts a heavy load off my shoulders.

- If something doesn't work out for you or you're not really sure of something, just think "As expected, it's because I'm so freaking cute." We're all cuties

- I'm the main character of my life

- Always think of positive thoughts!

- Don't focus so much on social relationships

- I try to dress nicely and put on make-up when I go out

- I think of only good things, and if not I write my thoughts and feelings in a notebook to clear my mind.

- I live my life thinking I'M THE BEST SCREW YOU GUYS

- As a clinical psychologist, the most common concern I hear from people is that they have low self-esteem.  I want to say something.  There are people who believe it's their own fault that they have low self-esteem but it is almost entirely the fault of other people.  Instead of trying to change your own feelings, I think we need to fix how people treat each other.  We need to move away from a world where people judge others by excessive and cruel standards even when friends wield hurtful comments disguised as jokes.  You need to lead your own life and not live it by trying to measure up to other's standards.


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